individual states may vary

In the next two weeks, I'll be taking trips to the two parts of the U.S. that are arguably the most different from the rest of the country: this weekend, I'm going to a bachelorette party in Vegas, and next week, my boyfriend and I will be spending a week in Hawaii. Both of these are slight reprises of trips I've taken within the last year: my boyfriend and I went to Hawaii last October (and stayed at the same hotel and dove with the same dive shop), and we also took a road trip to Vegas in December.

I've only ever attended one bachelorette party (most of my female friends are inclined to more sedate girls' night celebrations), and I've definitely never been to one in Vegas. I am somewhat curious as to what I will come up with in terms of "sassy clubbing gear," since it's been years since I've aspired to any sort of clubbing (much less sassy clubbing in Vegas), and I am somewhat wary of the possibility that there may be male strippers. Although it would probably be hysterically funny, I can't imagine that there would be anything remotely sexy about a beefy man in a "sassy" policeman's costume, waving his nether regions in your face and expecting you to shove dollar bills down his pants. I'm definitely looking forward to catching up with my friend, who is the bride, but if an oiled-up fireman in a thong comes at me, I may have to dive behind a couch so as not to hurt his feelings with uncontrollable laughter.

I can't decide if this weekend will qualify as an "Only in America" experience or an "Only in Vegas" experience.